Painful Memories
by MDIlikewhoa
Summary: Squeal to 'Alway Mine' "This is a cruel joke right?" He said as he threw the note at Magnus. The cat eyed man looked at him sadly and Jace knew it wasn't a joke and his stomach turned as he fell to his knees. - Months after everything happened Clary can't cope and does something drastic, can Jace get her back or is she lost to him forever?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: HELLO! So this is the sequel to '_Always mine'_ I would recommend reading that first, but that story is very dark so if you don't want to I think you might be able to understand most of this one. There is clearly going to be mentions of the other story though so if you want to fully understand then read 'Always mine'. Hope so like, sorry this was supposed to me up last week! Next story I am going to update is 'Say something.' Gonna try and get it up today or tomorrow, but don't hate me if its not up until next week! Also the rating of this story might go up!**

It had been three months since Jonathan died, three long months. Everything wasn't perfect after everything happened. Clary was devastated over her mother's death and no one seemed to be able to make it better for her. Things were slow going for a recovery; she was currently out with Luke and Simon they were spending the weekend at Luke's farm. Jace wanted to go but Clary told him to stay behind, she just wanted to spend time talking about her mother with the other two and Jace didn't really know her mom like that. It stung that she made him stay behind but anything to help her heal. Jace was currently hanging out at the park resting against a tree just enjoying the breeze. He was using a rune so no one could see him so he was startled when he glanced up and Magnus was standing there looking down at him.

"Thanks for scaring me." Jace replied sarcastically as the cat eyed man looked down at him sadly; Jace wondered why he looked so put out.

"What's going on, you and Alec get into a fighting or something?" Jace asked worriedly as he sat up.

"Here Clary wanted me to give this to you." Magnus said while trusting an envelope toward him, Jace slowly took the letter out of Magnus's outstretched hand. Jace briefly wondered why she didn't just call him or talk to him in person since she was coming back in two days. Plus she had only been gone for a day and a half at this point what did she need to tell him so bad?

"I'll be over there if you want to talk after your done." Magnus said as he pointed to a different tree, it wasn't that far off. Jace watched him walk to the tree before finally looking down at the letter, for some reason it made him very nervous. He slowly took the letter out of the envelope and unfolded the paper. It was written in Clary's messy hand writing.

_Dear Jace, _

_I want you the read this letter with an open mind, but I know in the end you are going to hate me very much. I want you to know that I didn't make this decision to hurt you; I tried so hard to make this work. But I am broken inside and I can't do this anymore. I am so so sorry, please try and forgive me. As you read this I don't remember you anymore and I am truly sorry. I asked Magnus to erase my memory, going back to the first moment I discovered shadow hunters. Please don't hate him; I had to beg him to do this so DO NOT blame him please. Currently I am with Simon and Luke somewhere that I can't tell you. After a few weeks Simon is going to come back and be with Isabelle, he's a vampire and at some point I am going to notice he isn't aging. So after a long time of persuading he's going to let me go so I can live my new mundane life. Please don't blame Simon either he wanted nothing to do with this, but after expressing how much pain I am remembering what evil things Jonathan did to me he finally agreed. I am sorry I didn't tell you in person, I just know you would have never let me do this. Every time I sleep, every time I think all I can think about is Jonathan and his words and his touches and I just can't do this anymore. Please don't hate me I know this is going to hurt you and I hate myself so much for this. I want you to know that even though I don't remember you right now I will love you always and forever. Please try and move on and forget me, I am nothing special anyways. _

_Love you always and forever,_

_Clary _

The note slowly fell out of Jace's hands and he looked down at it in disbelief, this was a joke right? He thought angrily as he looked up at Magnus sitting against his tree. He angrily picked up the letter and stormed over to the warlock.

"This is a cruel joke right?" He said as he threw the note a Magnus. The cat eyed man looked at him sadly and Jace knew it wasn't a joke and his stomach turned as he fell to his knees.

"Why would she do this to me?" Jace cried as tears sprung from eyes.

"We worked so hard to save her, _I_ worked so hard! I just got her back, Magnus she can't do this to me." Jace cried as he grabbed onto Magnus.

"I am sorry Jace; she honestly didn't do this to hurt you. She just didn't know how to cope with all the trauma she went through. I am really sorry." He said again as he lightly patted Jace on the back.

"I need to see her Magnus, please tell me where she is PLEASE!" Jace begged the other man.

"I can't Jace; you can't see her ever again. She wouldn't even know who you were if you saw her anyways." Magnus said sadly. Suddenly Alec and Isabelle were there to and Jace stood up and they both grabbed him into a tight hug.

OoOoOoO

"Hey Clary want to go see a movie?" Simon asked Clary as she looked up from the boxes on the floor.

"Don't you think we should unpack some more?" She asked with a small laugh towards all the boxes cluttering her new floor. Simon couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips; this was the Clary he knew before everything happened. He hadn't heard Clary laugh in a very long time and it sounded amazing to his ears. Simon heard his phone beep and he dug it out of his pocket and looked at a new text Isabelle just sent.

_He's read the letter; he's not taking it well. I miss you. –Iz_

Simon and Jace were never really great friends but his heart hurt knowing how much pain he must be in right now. Simon knew that soon enough it would be his time to leave Clary as well and he was going to be just as sad.

"What's with the sad face, everything okay?" Clary asked as Simon turned his phone off and pushed it back into his pocket.

"Everything's fine." Simon lied as he pulled Clary away from her paints, her wall were pure white so she just had to pull out her paints and cover it up she had said.

"Come on please I want to go out and do something." Simon begged, he just wanted to forget for a few minutes and just pretend that it was just him and Clary like the old times.

"Okay fine." Clary murmured as she put her paints away and headed to the bathroom to wash up.

oOooOo

It had been three days since Jace read the letter and he hadn't moved from his room for much. Alec and Isabelle knew he wasn't going to react well but he was slowly killing himself, he wouldn't even eat. They both knew the moment that Jace tore out of their arms and ran back to the institute and saw that every single little item that was Clary's was gone. Next he checked Clary's house and any other spot that Clary had ever been. Everything had been wiped away, Clary made it look like she had never even been there. Jace had gone back to the institute and torn apart his room before shutting down and shutting everyone out.

Jace couldn't function properly without Clary, this just wasn't reality. Everyday he woke up and as he remembered everything he felt the pain wash over him as bad as the first moment he read the letter. At this point the letter was a crumbled mess from Jace reading it a million times and then crumpling it out and throwing it away only to change his mind and fish it out again. He felt selfish for thinking Clary was selfish for doing this to him. He knew how much pain she was in all the time because of what happened, but he was going to get her threw it. Suddenly something Yellow and green caught his eye and he edged himself off the bed to look at it. He got on his knees and picked it up slowly, it was a sock. It must of been left behind by Clary, the only thing he had now that made him believe that Clary wasn't just something he made up in his head. He quickly stuffed the sock into his pocket, already thinking of a plan to find Clary even if no one would help him, he would find her himself.

**AN: Please let me know what you think! I was between this idea and another one for the sequel and I hope I picked the right one!**


	2. Chapter 2

Jace-

Jace had gone to the first warlock who would talk to him, took him longer then had had hoped. Magnus must have warned a lot of them away from him. But he finally found one that would take his money. The warlock agreed to do a tracking spell, but it cost him a lot. The spell was fairly easy but pissing off Magnus was not something this warlock wanted. So after the encounter the warlock would disappear from Jace's mind and he would never remember the name or face of the warlock that helped him. Jace didn't care, he just wanted a location. The warlock was able to find a city, not an exact location, the sock was old and it was harder to track her with. Jace was okay with that, it would be much easier to try and locate her in a city verse the whole world.

It had been about three weeks since the warlock had helped him and he was narrowing down his search. He was now checking out colleges that offered great art programs knowing that was something Clary loved to do. He was getting a little frustrated, some days he wouldn't even get out of bed. He was trying to block out what Clary had done to him. She just left him; she was selfish in her wanting to leave without even a second thought to him. But some days all he could do was ache for her, knowing she did what she thought she had to do to get over what her evil brother did. Today was one of the better days as he walked down the street close to where one of the colleges was. He was passing by one of those coffee shops Clary liked when he decided to stop inside, maybe she would be there. He walked inside and was instantly hit with memories of Clary and himself walking inside and her giggling as she got her caffeine fix. He shook his head before walking up to the counter to order, he didn't like coffee much so he decided to order Clary's favorite.

Simon-

Simon was sitting on a bench at the park with Isabelle; he was staring down at his phone looking at the text Clary had sent him a couple of hours ago. He didn't know how to respond, he was trying to keep his distance and slowly step away from her. It was for the best, Clary would question why he wasn't aging someday and it was just best to pull away now. Doesn't mean it didn't hurt thought, he thought bitterly as he deleted the text and then pulled up his contacts scrolling until he found Luke's name. He hit send and put the phone to his ear. After a couple of rings Luke answered the phone.

"Hello." He heard the gruff voice of his friend.

"Hey, it's Simon. I was just calling to tell you Clary left me a text threating to take a bus to New York if I didn't call her soon." He said to the werewolf with a frown on his face. His best friend broke his heart every day and he missed her. He was a little envious that Luke was the only one that got to stay in her life.

"I'll talk to her when she gets out of school later, I don't think she would really do that. She's very busy in school right now but I'll try and nip it in the bud now okay." He said in a soft voice before branching off into a different topic.

"Have you guys seen Jace since he ran off a while back?" The older man asked and Simon sighed deeply, he had no idea where Jace was, no one did.

"No we haven't seen him, make sure you keep an eye out for him." The vampire said while his girlfriend threw some bread to the ducks with a cute little smile on her bright red lips, she turned to look at Simon and he could see the worry in her eyes. She was very worried about Jace.

"Will do."

Clary-

Clary was walking down the sidewalk; she had just finished up one of classes and had a little more than an hour to kill before her next class. If felt pointless to head home only to turn around a few minutes later, so she decided to stop at her favorite coffee shop and wait. While she was walking she pulled her phone out of her back pocket, she frowned when she saw she had no new text. She signed before tucking her phone back into her pocket. It had been roughly two months since she moved to Boston and she had only talked to Simon once since then. It was like he was avoiding her for some reason, and it was killing her. For some reason she couldn't seem to connect to anyone in her classes, and she was feeling very lonely. Before her last class had started she had sent Simon a text pleading with him to call her, unless he wanted her to hop on a bus and track him down in New York, she was hoping that threat would work. She reached Star Bucks and opened the door, her frown turning into a small smile, she loved the smell of coffee it always brightened her mood. She approached the counter and took a minute to look at the board, pretending like she was going to order something different then she usually did. Finally she got into line behind a blond and waited for him to place his order. She snorted to herself when he ordered the same thing she was going to order. He turned around at her laugh and her heart starting beating hard in her chest, he was so handsome. Something like a memory flashed in her eyes before being pulled away and she couldn't seem to recall it again. His eyes stared at her widely before finally opening his mouth.

"What's so funny?" He asked, his voice sounded just like she thought it would. Sexy and dark, she couldn't help the chill that ran up her spin.

"I was going to order the same thing; I thought it was a little funny." She said after a moment, the boy smirked before turning back to the barista and ordering a second coffee.

"Hey you don't have to do that." Clary said softly and the boy shook his head and laughed a little.

"Why wouldn't I take the chance to buy a pretty girl a coffee?" Clary felt a blush rise to her cheeks and couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips.

"Well thanks, mystery boy." Clary said as the blond boy paid for their drinks. Then they both walked over to the next counter to wait for their drinks.

"So what was your name again?" Clary asked as she looked up and down his body. He looked dark and mysterious with black jeans, a gray t-shirt and a leather jacket. Clary never had a boyfriend before so she didn't think she had a 'type' but the boy was doing something special to her insides and she couldn't help taking in all in.

"I never said my name." He said back smartly still not giving his name up, Clary let out a low chuckle before rotating her heavy shoulder bag to her opposite shoulder.

"Well, I am Clary in case you were wondering." She said just as a barista came out and place the two coffees on the table.

"Jace?" He called out and the blond boy nodded before taking both cups in his hand and smirking at her.

"We'll now you know my name." He said with a smirk before walking away with both coffees, Clary watched her coffee helplessly as the boy now known as Jace walked over to a couch and sat down with it. He looked up at her before pointing to the seat next to him.

"Join me?" He asked and Clary stood there for a moment, pondering if this is something she should be doing flirting with random strangers at Star Buck? She deiced why the hell not since she never did things like that, and she was in college for Christ sakes and never had a boyfriend let alone had sex. So might as well be wild and flirt with this handsome boy. She finally walked over to the couch and sat next to him, not to close though she didn't want to give him to wrong idea. Once she was sitting he handed her, her coffee and she took it gratefully before taking a large sip and smiling. He laughed at her and she shot him a little glare.

"Hey coffee equals life, if you don't believe that then I should confiscate the drink from you." She said gesturing wildly at his coffee. He held up one hand in surrender still laughing at her. She childishly stuck her tongue out at him before laugh along with him. Her heart swelled with happiness and something she felt like she had been missing clicked into place as she flirted and talked with someone she had just met. But in the back of her mind she couldn't help but feel like she had met Jace before.

**AN: HELLO, sorry it's been so long I suck I know! It warms my heart for Clary to have a little silly interaction with Jace. I am sorry he found her so quickly but don't worry there will be TONS of drama but LOTS of fluff as well. This will not be as DARK as the first story, but it might have some sad moments. **


End file.
